Thanks for writing, Crystal.
You are in the midst of recovery, but there are often twists and turns along the way. You will be fine. It is 100% clear that this is a mind body issue. There can be no doubt, given what you have described. You need to know this for certain. Your brain is trying to scare you with an increase in pain. That is what is happening; nothing more. You are not broken or damaged.
Now that you are certain about that, you can breathe with the pain; step back from it a bit; notice it without fearing it; know that you will be OK; and that you are OK. Remind your brain that nothing is wrong and that you are not going to stop doing this work.
One more thing for now. This seemed to be set off by an emotion. Talk to your brain telling it that emotions are not dangerous; that you are allowed to feel deep emotions, such as sadness, guilt, or anger, without getting pain. If you allow the emotions to come, you will be taking an important step to recovery.
Let us know how it goes. Let us help you through this.You will get through this!
Thanks Dr. Schubiner,
I'm trying to convey safety, to remain calm, to stay the course. Your words put me at ease last night, I was able to get a bit more sleep than usual. But, I woke up and my subconscious is back to trying to make me doubt everything.
I need a confidence boost, something to show my I am strong and capable and certain. But I don't know what that is.
I'd suggest reading some of the posts in this forum, that date back over the last several months or years. There are many beautiful posts and many people who have been exactly in the same place you are now. You are not alone. This doubting is very common and everyone has some of it.
Recognize that the doubting is part of the your brain trying to scare you. You can look at these thoughts (the doubting thoughts) as just thoughts; nothing more.
You'll see when you read the posts that others have gotten through this period; and you will too!