Thanks for the nice feedback, it feels good to know that we're not alone on this journey :-).
Marion, I've been in therapy for a while, but strangely, it never made any difference to the pain, and the idea of it being psychosomatic never really came up. My therapist was a bit stunned at first when I introduced this second perspective, but she accepted it when I told her about it and it became obvious that it worked. I think the therapy used to make no difference because it's too unspecific, the program and the ISTDP input is much more targeted at our particular condition. But I guess if you'll start therapy now, you'll bring up this issue right away and combine both kinds of approach.
What I've realized during the past weeks is that I'm much more reactive than I thought I was. I take lots of stuff personally, want to make people around me feel good etc. I'm starting to live more and more by my own values, like, if I've treated someone in a nice and appropriate manner, it's not my fault and really none of my business if my friendliness is not returned. I think behind feeling exhausted and empty is often the fear of being judged in some way, at least for me. Only now I've come to understand that the only person who can judge us is ourselves. This is an enormous relief and makes me feel so much better because quite a bit of my anxiety and sadness and hurt has simply evaporated.
I wish you, and everybody else here, much success and progress on this path :-).