Thank you so much for writing to me.
Six years ago, the first time I ever experienced a vertigo-like sensation, I had spent the couple days before the "big bang" feeling very off balance. I was living alone which was another trigger of my fear and my GAD was sky high.
Then, it's like my subconscious snapped and I woke up with an extremely intense inner rocking sensation. My family doctor did not think it was labyrinthitis or a result of an inner ear disorder. He asked me if the dizziness felt the world was moving or if I felt like I was moving. I explained that it felt as though I was moving. In fact, riding in the car made the dizziness/rocking feeling go away. So, he chalked it up to extreme anxiety which I did have before it happened.
I was good for 5 years - until 6 months ago. Self-employed, postpartum, cut my mother off and felt like my life was on a Ferris wheel. I felt out of control, especially because I was responsible for all the household duties including my own work. Then, I started getting positional vertigo at work which would trigger anxiety attacks and brain fog. But even before this, two days after my daughter was born, I experienced anxiety attacks for the first time in 10 years. I couldn't understand why they were back.
When I get stressed, it seems to always attack my vestibular system. This time, it was legitimately BPPV but why? Can stress cause BPPV? Now, I don't have BPPV anymore but I am still constantly dizzy and get adrenaline rushes like I am about to spin. If I am on the computer too long and I turn my head, I feel internal shifts happening which goes in line with Postural Perceptive Dizziness (a psychological disorder).
Thank you for your kind words. I believe I can train my brain to ignore these signals...and working through the exercises in this program my symptoms wax and wane and play tricks on me and practitioners. Just yesterday, I went to the walk-in clinic and was told my inner ears were infected because I was complaining of ear fullness in my left ear, which has also been present since the BPPV which no one, including an ENT, has had a diagnosis for. The doctor said my Tympanic Membranes were enlarged.
Today, I went to get a second opinion and of course, there is nothing wrong with my ears. I believe now more than ever, it's all TMS. Vertigo is my weak spot. As someone who is scared of having MS (watching my uncle deteriorate because of the disease), when I get something like this I feel I will NEVER recover from it or it is something more. But no one has a solution or even an idea what this is now besides BPPV which the Epley Maneuver keeps confirming I no longer have.