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new to the program

new to the program

by Toni Arenstein -
Number of replies: 0

Dr. Shubiner and other participants, I just started the program and I guess I was a little confused about signing up for the online program. I thought I would be getting the book as well. So when it was obvious that I was not getting the book, I went to Amazon because I thought I could get it overnight but I guess I can only get it through your web site. I don't have a printer at home right now so I can't print out the documents. So a little frustrated but trying to not let this hold me back from working the program as hard as I can. I am a 66 year old woman. I have a history of chronic back pain but nothing that ever kept me from living my life.

It started when I was 36 years old. Had to stop running after 10 years of running. I kept trying to push through and keep running being the baby boomer that I am but the pain would get worse. But I walked a lot. I am a health care worker - an nurse diabetes educator in a clinic that primarily serves the underserved population. It's a very stressful job but I won't go in to it. What I do want to say is that most of my patients could never do this program because it is difficult to understand and embrace the concepts. (And I know what the autonomic nervous system does. ) 7 weeks ago, I awakened at 2AM and could not walk to the bathroom without excruciating pain in the legs. I tried to get out of bed 5 times thinking it was a cramp or something.... Even though I am a health care worker and help people get medications, blood glucose testing supplies, insulin pumps, etc, I could not figure out how to get myself to see a doctor because I was in so much pain. Could not even walk to a taxi. Eventually had MRI - diagnosed L4 disc herniation. I went for accupunture 3 times, chiropractor once, and physical therapy several times. Some of this helped, especially the chiropractor but once I read Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and watched some success stories, I knew I had to stop the treatments. ( I really did not want to because some of it seemed to be helping. ). Unfortunately I have been unable to get an appt with a TMS physician in NYC - Dr. Rashbaum had no appts for 7 weeks. I tried to call another physician that was listed on the Wiki but his staff had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned TMS. I had been using a walker most of the time because there was too much pain in my left leg when I didn't use it. After 6 weeks and not back to work and still walking with a walker, I saw a physiatrist. He said I must get the epidural because there is muscle weakness in the left leg and this could be dangerous. I said no to the epidural. For the last week, I have not used the walker in the apartment and I have also begun to walk outside without the walker. I have been trying hard to talk to my inner child and let her know that I don't need this pain and I understand that it is emotional. I walk through the pain and it does get better although sometimes worse later in the day. I often cry when I am in the streets. I continue to struggle with fully embracing TMS/MBS but I work at it each day. Reading the success stories really helps me a lot.  Last week was the first time I was able to go to see my therapist by taking the subway and back and walking 3 long NYC blocks without using the walker.( this involved 4 flights of stairs). This is NYC and getting around with a walker is really a pain. I am going to do that again in 30 minutes. I have been out of work for 7 weeks and hoping I can get back to work soon. Sitting is still difficult but I am working at that too. I am sure I will be back to work soon but may cut back my usual hours for a month or so. Last thing I want to say is that I had been walking at least 50-60 minutes most days and when at work walking up 5 flights twice per day. Sorry for this long post.