I really hope someone can give me the answers I need to go ahead.
I’m from Sweden and I hope you understand my English, it isn´t the best.
I start from the beginning of my TMS.
A year ago, I got acute pain in my back. It happened when I bent down to pick up a screwdriver and it felt like someone stich a knife at my left side in my lower back for a second. After a couple of ours my back was so stiff I couldn’t bend or hardly walk. I was bedridden for two days with massive pain. I thought it was a herniated disc that causes the problem and was also told by my doctor to rest, I also got some strong painkillers so I could “sleep and get better”. I was getting better after a week but the pain was still there, I was very afraid to move, bend and lift things. I was told to stand up at work and also got a training program from my chiropractor. My chiropractor also told me that my left leg was 2 centimeters shorter than my right leg, and that the leg was cause my back pain.
I also need to tell that I have been weightlifting for more than 10 years and it is one of my biggest interest. So, I also got depressed when I couldn´t do my training. I tried to train very easy and also did my homework from my chiropractor with some training, but I was scared and the pain got worse after each exercise.
After 4 month of back pain I contacted my doctor again and got an MRI. The answer was: Nothing is wrong! No herniated disc or anything. But – my pain was there and it was real! It felt that people around me thought I was imagine everything. And I started to think so too, sometimes. After 6 month of pain I started to look after other possibilities and found out about TMS. I read the book “healing your back pain” by John Sarno. After a week I was feeling better, I got out and did stuff that I was afraid of; bending, lifting things, skiing, got to the gym. After a couple of weeks my pain was all gone! I really believed in this because it worked! I read a book and my pain was gone!
But… a couple of weeks ago I started to feel some pain in my back and hips again. I tried to figure out if I was depressed, sad, angry or stressed. I read “The mindbody Prescription” by John E. Sarno, because knowledge about TMS is one of the keys to heal. I also started the “Mind Body educational program” by Howard Schubiner, two weeks ago. I have started the week one “write away“-process but not completed it yet. My pain started to fade away and I kept on my weightlifting and skiing without any problems (some pain, but I tried to ignore).
Now to the reason why I write this post;
Three days ago I participated in a lottery at a skiing competition and I won a car! I know, it sounds crazy and it is! Can’t hardly believe it, but it’s true. J
I don’t think I have felt that acute luck at any time and it really was from one minute to another. Me, my girlfriend, family and friends was celebrating and having fun. Next morning I woke up with massive pain in my lower back. I couldn’t get up from bed without help, my back was stiff and I couldn´t bend. Just like the time when my problems started a year ago. But now it happened in bed. In this moment I’m sitting here with severe back pain and can’t understand why!
Were I to happy?! Can happiness be a trigger for TMS? Or is it because I felt sorry for the others who didn´t won the car? I can’t find out. One more thing: The night we were out to celebrate, I meet a man that said mean stuff about my father (who past away 20 years ago). I felt huge anger, wanted to punch him in the face but of course I didn´t. I just ignored him. Can that be the trigger to my pain? I need help to find out, because I begin to doubt that TMS is the problem…