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pain starting after extremely stressful time

pain starting after extremely stressful time

by Cher Collins -
Number of replies: 3
In the beginning of November, I developed a stabbing pain around my vaginal area and then developed back pain a few weeks later. I vacillated between back and vaginal pain and then pain under my armpits and burning sensations around my mouth.  Previous to this I was convinced I had contracted the Herpes 2 virus from an unprotected sexual encounter I had the end of September.  After numerous Herpes 2 blood tests that proved negative, and doctors telling me that I am fine, I am starting to believe that this is all mind body syndrome.  Even though in my mind I am trying to reconcile the fact that I am fine, I cannot seem to make the pain go away. I can't even begin to tell you how broken and distressed I was at the thought of contracting genital herpes, when it all could have been prevented had we used protection.  I pride myself on being smart and doing the right thing and I beat myself up because I could have prevented it. I wished and wished I could go back and fix that mistake I made.  I am trying really hard to tell my mind that I am fine, but am having a really hard time and the pain seems to be getting stronger. I do fit the profile..... people pleaser, Extremely hard on myself, kinda of a perfectionist.  Any suggestions on how to heal?  Help, please!  Thanks for listening
In reply to Cher Collins

Re: pain starting after extremely stressful time

by Dianna Cunningham -

Hi Cher! Glad to hear your story. It sounds like you’re really stressed out and I completely understand. Please don’t beat yourself up over fear over your sexual encounter. No one is perfect. I think your anxiety and stress is behind your pain especially since the pain is in several places. Follow the advice about trying to relax and do some breathing and meditation. Write down what stresses you out the most and notice if that helps. I notice that I have more pain when I don’t feel safe so I always have to talk to myself and tell myself that I’m okay.

Also try to have some fun and laugh even though you have pain. Watch some crazy movies. See if that can take your mind off the pain.

We’re all here for you. We’ve all been there.


In reply to Cher Collins

Re: pain starting after extremely stressful time

by Howard Schubiner -

Thanks for writing, Cher, and thanks Dianna for a great response.

You are trying to make the pain go away, but that is not what you want to do actually. You want to stop caring about the pain, you want to not let it get to you and not let it bother you.

This is important. As you do that, the pain will gradually go away. Just keep reminding yourself that you are fine and not in danger; that this pain is not physical and that you don't have to worry about it; don't let it control you and your mind; you don't need to let it overcome you.

Focus on everything else in your life and you'll be fine.

Best, Howard

In reply to Howard Schubiner

Re: pain starting after extremely stressful time

by Pasi Lautala -

What a perfect response from Dr. Schubiner and one that I can fully agree upon with my current situation. It's amazing how quickly the pain can subside when you can take your mind away from it.....unfortunately it's also amazing how quickly it can return once your mind is allowed to wonder back to thinking of it.

PAsi Lautala