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Looking for Reassurance

Re: Looking for Reassurance

by D Sm -
Number of replies: 1

Thank you all for replying. I really appreciate it. 

I had a strange gut feeling (almost otherworldly in nature) yesterday to try something that had very interesting and completely amazing results. I was driving home from work and I was having some pelvic pain and mild dizziness with pressure/pain in my head and neck region. As I was driving I would simply say out loud to myself in a kind and caring voice "I have TMS. Right now I have pain in my suprapubic region, and that's ok." Instantly the suprapubic pain melted away and moved to the sacral area. So I tried it again "I have TMS. Right now I have pain in my sacral region, and that's ok." Poof, the pain instantly vanished and moved to my right hip. I was amazed, but still not quite convinced so I tried it on my headache/head pressure and it did the same thing. At first I had pressure and pain at the base of my skull, then it jumped to a tight band around my brow, then to my right temple, then to the back of my upper jaw. I began to laugh. It was completely crazy. Just saying  "I have TMS. Right now I have pain in my XYZ region, and that's ok." cast a light on the pain which made it scurry to another spot. It was like I was literally chasing the pain around my body in real time. I was simply dumbfounded. How can I have any doubt now?  I woke up today with zero pelvic pain. A couple of times today it started to creep back, but I was ready for it. Same thing with head pressure and head pain. I'm still experiencing some mild dizziness almost vertigo like sensations, but you know what? That's ok. If the pelvic pain or headache comes back for a visit that's ok too. You are right Dr. Schubiner, this condition is driven by fear. 

One thing this condition has made me realize is that I've lived my entire life in varying states of fear and I've had TMS since I was a kid. I can remember periodically waking up in the middle of night with terrible anal pain as a child (which continued into adulthood). I recently learned there's a medical term for it, proctalgia fugax. I recall bouts of chest tightness as a kid, but nothing was every found wrong with me. I remember waking up with migraine headaches. I've always been a habitual teeth grinder in my sleep and jaw clencher when awake. I currently wear a mouth guard when sleeping, because I've worn my teeth prematurely.  As a kid my parents yelled and fought almost daily. My father was very anxious and angry which further contributed to the fear.  I now understand how that would make a child fearful and feel unsafe. Just today I remembered having the same visual disturbances I'm experiencing now while in college. It was my last year in college and I remember being terrified of the thought of joining the workforce. I had lots of self doubt, and still do. Interestingly, my sister suffered from what I know believe was TMS some years ago. She had subjective weakness in her arms and legs, numbness, dizziness, and extreme fatigue. All medical tests she had came back normal. It wasn't until she attend psychotherapy that her symptoms finally resolved. It certainly is not a coincidence that we both grew up in the same environment and ended up with mind body issues. Anyway, thanks again for the replies. Knowing that there are other out there that genuinely care is comforting.

In reply to D Sm

Re: Looking for Reassurance

by Rita Osborne -
My goodness D sm...
I know you wrote this last year, but reading about your growing up and family experiences, we could have come from the same family.
My father too said some horrible things that gave me a fear of dying from the age of 8, I also remember having the most terrible headaches at school. I never felt confident or even liked myself, and like you my siblings suffer too.
It does make you realise that all this stress and trauma of life does to your body. Maybe the trauma lives in our body, our muscles like a memory.