Thanks for writing, Cathy.
This program often sheds light on so many issues and helps us understand how we go to where we are at in our lives.
In your case, there have been several losses: not only the loss of affection and safety as a child, but now the loss of the image you have carried of your parents. That is very sad and I'm sorry for you.
Many people in this program have been through this very problem and have survived and thrived. You will too. However, one thing you will need to do is to learn to be a caring, nurturing presence for yourself. Self-compassion will be an important part of your healing journey.
But now you know where you need to go.
Let us help along the way.