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What to do when you really feel anger..

 
Picture of Supriya Jadhav
What to do when you really feel anger..
by Supriya Jadhav - Monday, 12 June 2017, 11:09 AM
 

It happened around 2 days back. My pain levels had drastically reduced. Everything was well. But then there was some accounts mistake done by my employee which would have costed me. And it was quite a silly one. Now I had two options, one to ignore take that person as a messenger who will teach me how to control anger or else shout for the mistake.. Since  I am not that ahead in spirituality I chose to scold, since I didn't want that mistake to happen again. And I was really really angry. Well the whole day I had that emotion in me and I was getting upset on everyone. Normally this wouldn't cause pain to other people but since I am a TMSer I started getting pain.. And now 2 days later I am in a lot of pain. 

I am confused here on how should I have handled it differently. I didn't want to repress my anger so I vented out. And i actually sat with the emotion of anger for quite some time. But still it got my symptoms back.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.


Picture of Howard Schubiner
Re: What to do when you really feel anger..
by Howard Schubiner - Sunday, 18 June 2017, 12:49 PM
 

Here is what I recommend in these situations.

First recognize the anger and know that it's justified. Second, express the anger as much as you can when you are alone, which could include writing about it, screaming about it, imagining hitting the person or yelling at them. But remember, you are doing this anger expression where no one can see you or hear you. You are expressing it strongly, but not affecting anyone else. Third, calm down and let the anger go. Think of the positives of that person and recognize that this issue is not going to cause anyone to die.

Then, you can talk to the person involved. You can be calm, civil and assertive. You can point out the problem in a kind way. That is how you accomplish your goals.

Do this as I suggested above and then let the anger go. Forgive yourself and apologize for your outburst with your employee.

Tell your brain to let the pain go. It's merely a reaction to all of this and it will pass.

Does that make sense?

Best, Howard

Picture of Barbara Kessler
Re: What to do when you really feel anger..
by Barbara Kessler - Tuesday, 27 June 2017, 2:54 AM
 

Hi Howard,

Thanks for your advice on dealing with anger.  I needed to hear your suggestions, too.

Barbara